And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
