i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
