just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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