I look better un-naked...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
