bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Four minutes until I can fart!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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