I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
