"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
