I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
