whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
