the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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