wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
