i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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