how can u be prego again
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to align my fucking chakras
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
