Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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