Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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