Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
