He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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