I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
