I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
