i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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