Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
