While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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