Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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