It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize