in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans