Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Randomize
Follow @tfln