Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(381): View more from

I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

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(381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw

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(310): View more from California

Sorry I couldn't get my dick out

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(310): Sorry I couldn't get my dick out http://tfl.nu/ywcl

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(908): View more from New Jersey

it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere

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(908): it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere http://tfl.nu/0cj1

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(662): View more from Mississippi

It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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(662): It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though http://tfl.nu/50vd

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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(843): I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter. http://tfl.nu/3aqn

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(301): View more from Maryland

It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form

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(301): It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form http://tfl.nu/mrkk

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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(248): i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech http://tfl.nu/b8ee

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(225): View more from Louisiana

she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.

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(225): she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her. http://tfl.nu/dxlc

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(217): View more from Illinois

Did everyone make it back alive?

(309): View more from Illinois

You say that with such hope.

(217): View more from Illinois

Is that a no?

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(217): Did everyone make it back alive? (309): You say that with such hope. (217): Is that a no? http://tfl.nu/rkmk

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(863): View more from Florida

In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us

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(863): In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us http://tfl.nu/7cnb

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We welcome drunken adversity.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

With open legs.

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(724): We welcome drunken adversity. (1-724): With open legs. http://tfl.nu/iqs6

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(970): View more from Colorado

im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

(303): View more from Colorado

i dont think thats healthy man...

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(970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl

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(616): View more from Michigan

But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"

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(616): But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" http://tfl.nu/95zk

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(407): View more from Florida

Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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(407): Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks. http://tfl.nu/yvne

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(234): View more from Ohio

Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?

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(234): Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories? http://tfl.nu/bj62

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