It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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