New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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