I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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