New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
