Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
