so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
