either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
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Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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