He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
