margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
