no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
love makes seman taste better
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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