he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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