Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize