Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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