Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
