A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
