Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize