Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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