:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
