the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
