This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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