and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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