I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
