yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize