Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
