Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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