Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am naked and annoyed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
