sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
