I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
