Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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