I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
