Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
