He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
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Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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