do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
