Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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