I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
