Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
