The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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